Revisionism and Creation : the Origin of the Super Bowl
We rise to the Sabbath, the day the Lord we are told drew back from his work and rested. This much is true. Now for the rest of the story:
Having plucked two or three ripe avocados and having made a sumptuous guacamole, and having chopped a couple tomatillas with cilantro and notched up a bit with a little Serrano, God sat back with a bowl of chips, the dip, and the salsa verde, put his feet up on bole of an oak made for this purpose, and intended to watch the Super Bowl 4000BCE. Imagine the divine disappointment in finding the Super Bowl had not yet been invented. In all his divine omniscience God just had not given this detail any thought: imagine, a day of rest and no football! Making a note of this God decided to create a Pete Rozelle DNA and toss it into the gene pool on the morrow. Since a thousand years is like a day to God it would not matter much if this gene formed in the womb about the time of Abraham and Sarah, a thousand years later when bushes burned and were not consumed (think of the advertising windfall this would have inspired), or within fifteen minutes or so coincident to the creation of the Mustang. Needless to say, world history (and the fate of Detroit and therefore the careers of Eminem…the Supremes…Smokey Robinson) may have been a bit altered had this gene come to term during the reign of Decius what with the ascendancy of the Lions and their favorite arena toy the Christians. (Well, it didn’t; ‘nough said, no need in speculating about divine providence, kismet, or whether Joan d’Arc would have driven the Brits from Orleans on Friday May 8, 1429.)
God satisfied divine intention, but by the time Rozelle’s era did finally (in human currency) arrive, Saturday had become Sunday and Nikola Tesla had discovered AC allowing for football as well on Monday in lighted arenas and domes and things (thank goodness, that is to say, Providentially, Dandy Don Meredith was willing to lay aside bass fishing for a few seasons), and hence we have both Super Bowl Sunday (after Mass, which is before breakfast) with Monday Night Football thrown in.
After the game God could be heard saying, That salsa is good, in fact it is very good; it is simply divine.
We rise to the Sabbath, the day the Lord we are told drew back from his work and rested. This much is true. Now for the rest of the story:
Having plucked two or three ripe avocados and having made a sumptuous guacamole, and having chopped a couple tomatillas with cilantro and notched up a bit with a little Serrano, God sat back with a bowl of chips, the dip, and the salsa verde, put his feet up on bole of an oak made for this purpose, and intended to watch the Super Bowl 4000BCE. Imagine the divine disappointment in finding the Super Bowl had not yet been invented. In all his divine omniscience God just had not given this detail any thought: imagine, a day of rest and no football! Making a note of this God decided to create a Pete Rozelle DNA and toss it into the gene pool on the morrow. Since a thousand years is like a day to God it would not matter much if this gene formed in the womb about the time of Abraham and Sarah, a thousand years later when bushes burned and were not consumed (think of the advertising windfall this would have inspired), or within fifteen minutes or so coincident to the creation of the Mustang. Needless to say, world history (and the fate of Detroit and therefore the careers of Eminem…the Supremes…Smokey Robinson) may have been a bit altered had this gene come to term during the reign of Decius what with the ascendancy of the Lions and their favorite arena toy the Christians. (Well, it didn’t; ‘nough said, no need in speculating about divine providence, kismet, or whether Joan d’Arc would have driven the Brits from Orleans on Friday May 8, 1429.)
God satisfied divine intention, but by the time Rozelle’s era did finally (in human currency) arrive, Saturday had become Sunday and Nikola Tesla had discovered AC allowing for football as well on Monday in lighted arenas and domes and things (thank goodness, that is to say, Providentially, Dandy Don Meredith was willing to lay aside bass fishing for a few seasons), and hence we have both Super Bowl Sunday (after Mass, which is before breakfast) with Monday Night Football thrown in.
After the game God could be heard saying, That salsa is good, in fact it is very good; it is simply divine.
posted by Dafath at 5:57 AM
2 Comments:
silly Bear
a+
very well done, enjoyable peace :)
Rich's Bassin' Blog
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