July 13, 2006

Images before Prayer~

Out at 4:30AM beneath a moon that’s nearly full, trying to find even a feeble metaphor to equate its light, its unlikely and alien lightness in the dark purple sky…satin spar or home to the Selenites mining beneath its pearlish surface. First half of night spent in wonderful world of dream, color and complexity, cold winter, and rugged red stone a son fell from while doing rainbow jumps down it, a mid Idaho landscape, vast wintry high desert of ice; he quivered on the cold ground; I froze on an edge of the rock. And they say it is a world of reason! And that preceded by the dream of sleeping with P on the floor of a friend’s home, 2 dogs, one black and our Lucy I hugged to me complaining of the noise, noisy sons we complained about, one of whom farted in the face of P; I shouted at him; waking on the floor of a shower at midnight with young people who returned from somewhere and were headed somewhere and showering in between. And this is a logical world that corresponds to the logical construction of the brain. It’s all a thought disorder and I am the insane one.

Greeted the yellows with flowery thoughts rooted in the Hegel’s “oyster-like, gray, or quite absolute black” of god or the mind, or what does it mean anyway? The moon is distant from the sea, / And yet with amber hands / She leads him, docile as a boy.

These are the images before the day is sanctified by the little implement of prayer, the uplift of language flung toward God. Though already, before even leaving the covers, I rubbed my lucky Fuzzy…still there, some.